Finding community
I hear you and a lot of the people on your pod discussing moving to LA and finding community, how is this possible? Does it come from a place of wealth or do you think it’s possible and in what ways to anyone? For people that can’t move at the moment to larger queer communities, what are good ways to meet queer people. I live close to Columbus Ohio and it’s mainly a few gay bars (mainly gay men) or Stonewall- which to be frank is just older queer people and more activist programs/educational programs.
Finding confidence as a femme
Hey Mal! Wondering if you have any advice for finding confidence as a femme who is new to dating women / trying to find queer community and struggling to convey her sexuality to others. I have often felt “not queer enough” because of the way I dress, but seeing the femme representation you bring gives me hope that I don’t have to change my style to convey my sexuality. Thanks in advance!
How can stop fall in love with straight girls?
They’re all my friends in the beginning. When they’re more and more close to me and I fall in love with them. It was hurt and bad chemistry. I had few relationship with them, it was kind of hidden, but I was happy that moment. I had another straight girlfriend crush again a year ago, it was continuing until last summer. I told her I cared too much about her and it was fine for a month and we had argument about things we didn’t talk since then. I still so sad and miss her. But I know I can’t do that anymore, still healing myself. And I start to confuse I don’t know what I really want now? And I’m already 40 years old.
Coming out to your non-queer friends.
I am from Texas and I didn’t come out to my close friends until I went to college in the north east and now that I live there I don’t see my friends in Texas all that often but I haven’t come up with the best way to tell them. How did you do deal with having a difference between those who knew the true you and those you didn’t tell yet back at home?
Queer vs Lesbian
I emailed you this for an AMA but I'll try again here. How do you feel about the use of the word lesbian, or the lack of it? For me, I've noticed that it's not used a lot and replaced with the word queer. In the last few years alone I've only seen one show that used 'Lesbian' causally when others have not used it or used it in a disparaging way. Even in the online WLW space like some other podcasts, I don't hear it as often and 'queer' is used the most often. I understand that it's a catch-all term but even when someone is solely attracted to women, it's used. Is there push back on 'lesbian' in the community? Has porn really ruined the word?
Tips on finding closure in relationships
Hi Mal, I hope you're doing well! I was wondering if you have any tips… I’m not out to my family yet. I know they love me no matter what, but I feel a lot of pressure to be the ‘perfect’ Catholic daughter. I moved to the U.S. over two years ago, and since then, I’ve only dated women. I tend to fall harder in relationships, even if they’re unlabeled or only last a few months. And even though the two relationships I’ve had weren’t serious for my partners, I unfortunately did picture a future with them at the time. I’d love to hear any advice you have on closure because it’s really tough not being able to grieve or celebrate when I like someone since I can’t talk about it with my family. Sometimes, it feels like these relationships never really happened because they weren’t labeled, or only my friends here in the U.S. knew about them. Thank you so much! And I love your podcast!